You have to be your own best friend

I remember a while back reading an
interview that Mindy Kaling (of the US Office and the Mindy Project) and she was speaking about losing her mother to cancer and here’s what she said:

“I said to her, ‘Mom, I’m going to be so lonely without you.’” She’s crying now but keeps going. “And she just said, ‘You have to be your own best friend. If you always remember that, you will always have someone there with you.’”

Now for me this is amazing for many reasons but something that stands out to me is when her mother said you have to be your own best friend why? Because it’s true I could imagine when her mother said this to her she wanted to give her daughter the best advice she possibly could and in my opinion, she did. In our world people leave, they let you down, they laugh when you’re down. If you’re relying on someone or a group of people to give your all the love, support and care that you need please  STOP because you’re going to be disappointed. People can only give so much, they can’t be everything to you. I hear people in relationships say oh that person is everything to me. I’m like wait what? Everything? REALLY? So what happens if they leave or worse if they die do you stop being whole, does that mean you’ve really lost everything that makes you happy? Let me tell you if someone ever said this to me I wouldn’t be flattered I would be cautious as its basically saying someone saying someone to me “hey all my happiness all the good things in my life live and die with you”. That’s a burden that no one can bear. So bringing it back to the quote of Mindy’s brilliant mother, you have to be your own everything. You have to be your best friend because you are all you have. In life you can lose family, money, husband’s, wives, a career, a business … but you can’t lose yourself. So you need to invest in yourself, instead of looking for someone to love you love yourself first, instead of looking for people to support you in everything you do support yourself. No man is an island but also no man was ever supposed to depend on anyone else.

I’m not going to say that if you’re your best friend that you won’t get hurt when people disappoint you or you shouldn’t make strong close relationships with others. No! All I’m saying is you have to be your own number 1 so that when you are hurt by others who you trust it won’t be so gut-wrenching because you’re all you have. No one will love you more than you love yourself.


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