2013 has been an awful year, I hate to admit it but it really has I’m not one to usually expose my thoughts about things like this, I’m usually the one who says Oh it wasn’t that bad when something was catastrophic but no in this instance for this year I will not be on the fence. This year has been an enormous disappointments, so many let downs, so many tears and anger. I honestly think I’ll look back at this year as one of my worst and to be honest I can’t wait for this year to be over!
Now I know this may be many of you guys thoughts, of course not all of you, for some of you 2013 may have been the best year of your life so far. Well whoop-dee-doo for you haha just kidding I’m happy for you. But for those who it hasn’t been I understand because I’m in the same situation; waiting for 2014, for new opportunities already making plans on how to avoid the monstrosities that have occurred in 2013. But I want to ask you and myself a question well two; Why was 2013 so bad? And why did I let it continue for the whole year?
Two hard questions, and to be honest I’m not prepared to write about my own personal answers yet, but I just can’t place the blame on 2013 I have my share of the blame for all the nonsense that took place this year. This is hard to accept because when unexpected horrible things happen to us we don’t ask them and therefore we don’t think we have any blame, but we do because our reaction to these things also affects the outcome. I know that there were unexpected situations that happened in this year that really sucked and made me upset but most of the time I did not react wisely to the situation and ended up making a bad situation 100 times worse. Honest there were times where I just thought well things are screwed up already why bother to make things better and I let myself down by doing wrong things, things that wouldn’t bring any form of solution and made me take major steps back. So that’s the first reason why 2013 was so bad because of my reactions to sucky sucky sucky situations.
Now, why did I let it continue for the whole year? I think I just got fed up with trying to make things better and gave up not physically I kept working and looking after myself but I can definitely for a period in this year I had given up mentally, it was like I stopped believing that my dreams could happen. So I said to myself what’s the point? I’m not in that exact same space anymore but I cannot say I’m out of the surrounding area but I’m learning that I can choose how I feel and how I think so instead of thinking negatively that nothing’s working etc I can think positively which is not easy but I’m getting better at it and will not enter 2014 with these same thoughts -major work but I know it can be done. So once again it seems the reason why the whole of 2013 was a sucky year comes once again down to me.
You see, this is not a please-feel-sorry-for-me post. No this post is a bucket of cold water to say “HEY mate bad things happen, horrible things happen you cannot change that, you can only change what you do about it”. That’s all I have to say, in life as I’ve learnt and am learning will through you undeserved punishments, things you didn’t think would ever happen will sometimes happen and things you’ve planned may not happen at the time you planned (trust me I know!) but then when life hits that horrible ball at you, it’s in your court. You decide what you do next, no-one does that for you even if they do for a while no-one can continue making decisions for your entire life. It all depends on you, and to be honest there will be days when you handle situations really badly but I mean REALLY badly. So what happens then? Then after a while of your bad reaction you have to wake up and slap yourself and say “No I’m not going to allow the whole of 2014/15/…n to suck because of this one event”. Of course some things that happen cannot be gotten over just like that such as death, divorce, separation but at the end of the day with all of these there needs to be a line. The line of OK that happened and whilst I may never forget it I have to move on I cannot let me whole life be dictated by this negative, devastating thing.
After all, what’s the point of going into 2014 or any other new year with same mentality of the old year, first you change then your year will change! First I change then my year will change. Let’s do this!!