In a room full of people but still alone

Recently I’ve experienced the title of this post. I’ve been in a place filled with many people where mostly everyone was talking to someone else, my family was there but they were in their own group as well. But I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. It was weird like I was literally in a room with lost of people but I was still alone. Alone but not lonely I didn’t have anyone to talk to, but I didn’t feel all alone. Why?
Because I have me. I’ve come to know that sometimes you won’t have people around you, you won’t have many people supporting you apart from your family, but you know what? You have you. Back in the day I used to have many friends I always had a best friend that would be my rock, my support system, if anything was going on I could call her. I’ve never felt like I didn’t have any friends because I always have had friends. Now I don’t, nowadays I don’t have many friends, I talk and socialise with many people but I refuse to use the word friend lightly so by my definition I don’t have many friends at all. I’m not going to lie and say that oh not having friends is so great because I’m able to have more me time and I’m free to do whatever I want but that’s not really true. I would love a best friend again but right now I don’t. So what does that mean? Does that mean that I won’t get on with my life because I have no friends? Will I start desperately searching for someone to bond with? Heavens no! I’m going to appreciate me, I’m going to work on myself to make myself a better person which will in turn make me a better friend so that my future friendships will not turn into the disasters that some of my past friendships turned into.

So today I just want to say if you find yourself alone in a room full of people don’t look and start to despair that you’re all alone, use that time to figure out what you can improve on, use it to think about things you may have done to make yourself to be alone and turn that temporary loneliness into permanent brilliance.

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