You can’t blame me for my trust issues

For me this statement means you’ve never gotten over a certain betrayal and you allow it to dictate how you interact with other people who had nothing to do with whatever happened in your past. But honestly having trust issues is hard, always feeling that people are out to hurt you, always keeping to yourself because of past experiences its not easy. Of course as the shrewd realist that I am I do not believe in trusting just anybody I think trust has to be built after quality time with a person, but I don’t think you should live your life under this notion that because you’ve been hurt before you will definitely get hurt again which most of the time isn’t true.

Trust issues stop you from making healthy relationships because you are so afraid of getting hurt your guard is always up, so you never truly get to know anyone and no one gets to know you. Then you become more isolated and keep feeding your mind saying that no one can blame you for having trust issues. Which to be honest is true because if you have trust issues because of past hurts and tramuas no one can blame you as there is a cause. However what if you just let go? Now it may seem that telling someone who was abused as a child or raped to let to is very naive and inconsiderate. But it’s not, letting go of the bad things that happened in the past helps you to stop reliving it everyday. When you have trust issues its because you still remember and revisit all the betrayals you went through. You remember them vividly and get upset thinking about them. Now remembering the bad things is to be expected I speak from experience because my mind hardly forgets, it especially doesn’t forget the bad things I’ve gone through. So while not remembering may not always be possible it is possible to stop reliving the things that caused your trust issues. For example, if you went through a horrible relationship if someone asks you why it failed don’t go through the whole story again detailing every single horrible feeling you experienced whilst in the relationship. Give a cliff notes version. Very brief, of course if you wish to go in more depth you can but remember you going into more depth will awaken all the bad memories which you would rather forget and you will find yourself feeling similar if not exactly the same as you did when it occurred.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk about past traumas, you most definitely should. In fact, you need to, talking is therapeutic as it lets you get out all the bad thoughts and feelings you’ve had stored up inside, but still you need to pick someone who you can trust, who won’t judge you to pour it all out to and then once you’ve talked it out, leave it alone. Don’t revisit it you’ve dealt with it by talking, unless you’re going to talk about it to help someone else whose also going though something similar don’t alway bring it up because then it will always bring you down. Talk it out, deal with it, and then move on to live the rest of your amazing life. Also don’t carry it around with you throw it away get rid of all the negativity that’s happened in your life by filling your mind and life with more positive experiences. The point is I was someone who carried all my hatred and grudges toward people and their betrayals around with me and it made me to be unhappy bitter and I would always get upset or angry whenever I thought about it but then one day I decided to forgive, let go and not allow those trust issues to dictate my life anymore. I believe if you put this into practice it will help you the same way it helped me.

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