Everyone attention seeks. In one way or another, if you say no I’m not an attention seeker I say LIAR! Yes you are. Let me give you a few examples:
1. At work you seek the attention of your manager by putting in your best (I hope) so that you can progress in your career
2. With your kids you ask for their attention when your talking to them
3. In a shop you seek the attention of the sales assistant so that you can be helped.
You see? Even though they wouldn’t classify as typical attention seeking behaviour they still are mild forms of attention seeking.
Now I can only think of three examples now but you feel free to come up with some examples for yourself. My point is everybody seeks attention. There’s nothing wrong with attention seeking if the intention and the attention that will be received is good for example if you want attention because you want to speak up for a cause e.g. Hunger, world poverty then please seek all you want. Sometimes attention seeking is necessary for your own well being and the well being of others.
But if you’re attention seeking for others people’s approval or to make someone like you please seek self-esteem. Yes that’s very harsh what I said but its very true why should your self esteem rely on someone else. I’m not ignoring the effect that other people’s words, actions and thoughts can have on our self-esteem what I’m saying is don’t let your self esteem be based on other people’s attention. If you live this way you will constantly find that your confidence is always going up and down because one day people compliment you and your floating your self esteem is at a hundred then the next day no one compliments you and you start feeling self conscious, doubting yourself questioning what’s wrong with your clothes hair face etc. I know this because I was this way and sometimes still am but I’m working through this because I know it doesn’t matter what people think what matters is what I think about myself. People are always changing their opinions about things so why should I live according to what they think at this particular moment?
Also notice this the more we seek attention from others the less attention we give ourselves, because we’re so busy thinking about how others see us we don’t have time to examine our own needs. We’re thinking oh I’m going to get this dress because everyone at the party will think I’m a knockout not even stopping to think if we like it, if we even feel comfortable in it. We think oh I need to have the best car so that people will see I’m doing well not worrying about hey do I even need this car? Can I even afford it? We need to esteem ourselves more highly, don’t look for attention in others give yourself attention. Invest in yourself, spend time alone, enjoy your life without relying on peoples opinion and you will see people will naturally notice you not because you’re trying hard for their attention but because you are just happy and content just giving yourself all the attention you need the attention that comes from you.