How to handle advice


Ah advice. Such a common commodity nowadays. Everywhere you turn someone is giving you advice whether you asked for it or not. Even now I’m proving my point, I’m giving you advice on how to handle advice (who am I to do that right? Well… I’m the blogger!). Our generation is the generation of information, there are many things going on and at times it can become quite stressful which is why we seek out advice on anything e.g. why does my cat bring in rats from outside? Be it from a close family member or complete strangers we find comfort in getting some fresh perspective on various situations.
I think advice is a great thing which is probably why I like asking people about things, I like finding out what others think, I especially like it if I agree with what they think (it reassures me that my thoughts aren’t so crazy). I think it’s important to get other people’s opinion on certain situations. Note I emphasised on certain because in other situations we just need to grow up and sort it out by our dang self. But nonetheless I think it’s really great to get genuine advice from someone you trust, it can motivate you to take good risks, it can make you feel better, it can sucker punch you when you’re acting like a total fruitcake and help you improve. So on one hand advice is like watching the whole trilogy of Lord of the rings whilst eating the best Chinese takeaway (which is in Stepney Green #nodebates) and drinking Rekorderlig (best drink EVER again #nodebates), in other words its the business when it’s real and from a good place.

Ask this to the next person to give you unsolicited advice
Ask this to the next person to give you unsolicited advice

Now hold up, wait a minute there is a another side of advice the seedy, evil side of it that more harm than good. This is when the person taking the advice as the end all be all. They base their entire lives on the advice they heard no matter how long ago, or where they are in their lives they stick to that advice like glue and refuse to question or even adapt to another way of thinking. Now please realise I’m not talking about major life decisions you’ve made that may require advice from others, for example, if you’ve decided to commit to a faith, see a psychiatrist, consult a dietician, then by all means take their advice please don’t run up on here saying I told you to ignore everyone’s advice. No I’m just talking about regular advice here lol. Let me give you an example, a while back someone who I respect and love said something about hair extensions, she said that she didn’t like them and that no man really likes them etc (she’s happily married). When I heard this it didn’t really disturb me because although I really respect this woman I LURRRVE hair extensions and only God could get me to stop wearing them. I don’t care if my future husband said he didn’t like them (I would take it as a sign that maybe he’s not the one mate) but anyways she was really adamant that she doesn’t like them but it didn’t really seem like something I needed to take on board, even though she was and still is a role model for me, because of my own preference towards hair extensions. So a couple of months passed and whaddya know this same lovely woman had hair extensions. WHAT? Yes yes she did I was shocked but not mortified at this blatant contradiction because so what it’s just hair extensions.

But bringing this to the topic it just reminds me of something that we all know but sometimes seem to forget, people are dynamic not static (FBP), people are always changing, they rarely stay the same. Some are more volatile then others changing over short periods of time but at the end of the day people always change. People move from places they vowed never to leave and go to places they vowed never to go, they get into the same relationships that they once advice you to steer clear of. People change all the time, so lets use some SOSO logic: if people are always evolving then if you are strictly adhering to some advice someone told you 5 years ago because it made sense at the time you’re probably not making the wisest decision. Because like you that someone has changed in the last 5 years (well I hope so) thus he/she may not even agree with the advice they gave you 5 years ago but here you are holding onto what they said. You can’t expect what was relevant and accurate before to definitely make sense now, sure some pieces of advice are pretty much solid e.g. shower everyday usually some pieces of great past advice were great for the past. Now is the present and it’s up to you to evaluate if what you were told before is still helpful for you today. No-one is ever going to come and say to you “Oh hey remember when I told you to do this two years ago well now I can see you’ve gone through some different things this year so I want to modify my previous advice to make your life better”. There is no follow-up when people give advice, that’s your job. You have to follow up on the advice you’ve been given

Do you know how hard this is to find?
Do you know how hard this is to find?

There needs to a be a balance on how you take on advice you can’t be walking around thinking you don’t need anyone’s help because you will fall and people will laugh, on the other hand you can’t just accept every piece of talk that drops out of everyone’s mouth. We need to evaluate and weigh up everything we hear according to our lives whilst always bearing in mind that
one day that piece of advice will run its course and you’ll need to adapt to a new way of thinking, because if you don’t adapt to a new way of thinking you will die mentally. (what a light breezy way to finish this post haha).

What about you? How do you feel about advice? Is it helpful or unecesssary? Leave a comment… let’s discuss.

Also I would like to thank everyone who has followed this blog it means a lot to me and I hope to keep writing posts that we will both enjoy. SOSO


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